Thursday, June 28, 2007

Junk Food Junkies: A New Fix



Last night I was yearning for some junk food. In particular, ice cream and potato chips. I walked to the local convenience store, and headed to the ice cream freezer. I saw Ben and Jerry's, usually my first choice, but didn't feel like going into that sugar coma. I saw Klondike bars, but not just any Klondike bars: they were Triple Chocolate. They were shaped the same square shape as the regular Klondike bar only they had chocolate-colored wrappers. I grabbed two: one for me and one for my junk food loving friend.
   I went over my friend's place with the ice cream. I unwrapped it and took a bite. OH. MY. GOD!!! My eyes rolled back into my head, or at least it felt like they did. This was so good, it was almost as good as you-know-what (at least what I can remember about that). I had an out of body experience. This was so good I wanted to smoke a cigarette afterwards, and I don't even smoke. I wanted to turn to my friend afterwards, who was also in this state of bliss, and say, "was it good for you?". I had to suppress moans. I wanted to buy a bucket load of these Klondike bars and give them to people doing heroin or crack or crystal meth or booze and I know for certain they would give up those things forever. For about an hour afterwards I had an afterglow of euphoria. I think I heard angels. Or maybe I was still moaning.

The ice cream had milk chocolate, white chocolate and dark chocolate sections. The top was coated with chocolate syrup. And the whole thing was covered with chocolate. Now, I've had all kinds of chocolate stuff and tried tons of ice cream flavors. This was the best of both I ever had. If I were on death row and had one last meal, I would ask for two of these. And I wouldn't share.

I believe we could achieve world peace with these. Attach little parachutes and drop them (quickly, so they don't melt too fast) over Iraq. People would put their guns down and take off their suicide belts and dance in the streets after eating these. They would embrace each other, Sunnis and Shiites and all the other groups I can't spell, and weep with joy.

I urge everyone: stop what you are doing and buy these. Bus drivers, pull over in front of a supermarket and bring your passengers in and buy these. Surgeons: put the scalpels down and buy these (sew up your patients first, please, and bring them with you, too). One request: just don't buy these in Nashua, NH. They're all mine.

Oh, and I also bought potato chips.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Chunky's Cinema - A Review

This past Sunday, I went with some friends to the new Chunky's Cinema and Pub that opened in Nashua, NH. The movie we went to see was Oceans 13 (Good movie, by the way. You can look up reviews here). I had been to the Haverhill Chunky's many years ago and liked the experience. But what would it be like now?

As we entered I was surprised by the comfy lounge area in the lobby. It had the kind of sofa and chairs you could sink in to and possibly fall asleep. Also in the lobby were massage chairs available for use for $1.00. I was tempted, but resisted, fearful I would later fall asleep during the movie.

We purchased our tickets ($5.50 for a 12:15pm movie) and were given an electronic gadget resembling those used in restaurants to alert you that your table is ready. The gadgets were to be used to quietly summon the waitstaff with the press of a button. Boy, I wished other restaurants had this so we wouldn't waste time craning our necks, playing Where's Waldo trying to flag the occasional disappearing waiter down.
We entered the theater/restaurant. There were long, rectangular shaped tables throughout and instead of the standard, cramped, way too narrow for us larger folks seats, there were black leather seats with headrests resembling the ones that were built for Cadillacs. The theater was sort of dark even before the movie started. We sat at a table, sitting closest to the screen at the front of the table. This is a casual type of place, we noticed, with plastic ware at each place setting individually wrapped. As we perused the menu, my friend Lee and I were amused by the names of the items, especially those from the Chamber of Sweets section with Harry Potter references, as we are big fans of HP. Prices for dinners range from $7.99 to $11.99. I chose the Swiss Family Robinson Bacon Cheeseburger dinner, Lee opted for the Love Me Tender chicken tender dinner and a Butter Beer Float (root beer float). Keith decided to get the steak tips, and seemed pleased with them. Our meals arrived just as the movie started. We were disappointed that the pitcher of ginger ale we ordered came with just a large paper cup of ice on the side. The ginger ale was cold in the pitcher, but we preferred ice in the pitcher as well, because the cup ice melted during the movie and we were left with lukewarm soda. Still, we could easily have pressed the magic waitstaff button and gotten more ice. It was hard to see our food, but the flashes of light from the movie screen were enough to satisfy us that we weren't eating squid. Lee said, "The chicken fingers were really good. They were crispy on the outside and moist on the inside. The coleslaw was also really good - not too much dressing, and not too tangy. I thought overall, the food was good, but overpriced".
My burger was WONDERFUL. There were plenty of FRESH mushrooms and the burger was cooked as I had requested. I chose the pasta salad as my side dish, and it came in a small bowl, which was just enough. The salad was tasty. Keith seemed please with the steak tips. We all enjoyed the experience and food. Distractions were minimal during the movie. Everyone around us was so busy stuffing their faces so that talking and noise were almost nonexistent.The waitstaff quietly cleared tables, and near the end of the movie they presented our check and collected the magic button gadget. Overall, I would give the cinema experience five stars, especially for the comfort factor and the food four stars. I would recommend this cinema for the unique experience.