Wednesday, November 19, 2008

An easy way to help the auto industry

PLEASE NOTE: This is written tongue-in-cheek style, so to my family and friends, remember you said you wouldn't commit me unless you found me knitting outfits for my cat Abby. (Hide the yarn, Abby)

I have a solution to help the auto industry, eliminate our dependence on foreign oil, create more jobs, and reduce global warming: Lets get rid of all the cars and use horses. This is how and why horses will solve our economy problem.

We'll use all those poor wild horses that are going to be slaughtered. We will hire a bunch of people to tame them (more jobs created). Automakers will now be horse breeders. Car dealers will be horse dealers. They can even keep some of the same names as their cars, Dodge Colt, Ford Pinto, etc.( maybe not the Pinto). The parking lots of showrooms will be converted to horse stalls. There will be an SUV model, complete with a covered wagon. Car part places will now stock horse supplies and accessories, including saddle cup holders. Car washes will now be horse grooming stations.

Gas stations, since we won't need gas anymore, will now be horse feeding stations with water troughs and bails of hay at reasonable prices. Oil companies will be farms, producing hay and feed for horses. The CEOS of the oil companies will be forced to work hard, physical labor on these farms. The farmers will now be the CEOS of the farming industry.

The kids will love it. Merry Go Rounds will be Car Go Rounds, as each horse is replaced with a replica of old cars such as the Toyota Camry and Cadillac Escalade.
The riding age will be 10. There will be horse riding lessons in place of driving lessons. Lots of horse drawn sleigh rides.

Think of the new fashion industry opening up: people will have cowboy outfits.
We won't have to worry about paving roads anymore, since horses will be using them.

Nascar will be replaced with horse races and the racing tracks will be governed by the Humane Society.

The horses will have GPS microchips, in case they get lost or stolen.
I haven't quite figured out how to install CD players and stereos yet. The loud noise might frighten the horses. Maybe we could use earphones.

You could drink and drive all you want, without danger of getting in an accident.

Oh, and I haven't forgotten how to deal with the horse manure: We will get oil company executives, bank executives, and Wall Streeters to be responsible for scooping up the poop everywhere.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

16 Signs Your Home May Be Haunted

There is a chilling, riveting show on TV called "A Haunting" (Discovery Channel, 2pm Eastern Time, Monday through Friday). The one hour show depicts allegedly true personal experiences with ghosts and demons. Actors reenact the events interspersed with interview clips from the actual victims and their families. Whether you believe in the afterlife or not, the one hour program is truly entertaining. It has given me a good scare at times, and I am grateful it doesn't air at night

From watching the show, certain patterns and similarities have occurred that I thought might be useful to know either before buying a home or afterwards. Here, for your amusement, is a list to guide you:

Your home may be haunted if:

1. You keep hearing someone call your name and no one is there. (or you could just be psychotic)

2. When sleeping, your blankets are pulled off of you.

3. The crosses on the walls turn upside down.

4. The temperature drops down suddenly in a room and it is August. And you don't have the A/C on.

5. When the real estate lady shows you the home, she not only refuses to go in but won't get out of her car.

6. The price of the home is way too good to be true.

7. You develop strange scratches on your body and they're not from your spouse.

8. Your child introduces you to his new playmate and there is nobody there, but you see a swing moving or toys moving.

9. You walk into your baby's room to find all of the stuffed animals in a circle, and no one in the house did it.

10. Cabinets doors keep opening by themselves.

11. The home was recently renovated.

12. A family member starts glaring at you and talking in a low, demonic voice.

13. The home used to be a funeral parlor/ site of a murder/ on top of a burial ground.

14. When you enter the rental property you find dishes with food on them - as if the prior residents ran from the house.

15. When viewing a potential home, you find the current residents huddled in one room telling you not to go upstairs.

16. All the windows are nailed shut.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

You can always go Downtown

I like to support our local businesses during this economic crisis. The larger ones like Wal-Mart will thrive, but it is the smaller places, like our squares, centers, and downtown areas, that may need our help. And if you haven't been to Downtown Nashua, you are missing out on a great shopping experience.

Downtown offers friendly service and a way to avoid the impersonal, claustrophobic feel of shopping malls. There is no need to worry about parking: there is some on street parking and various parking garages. Check out this parking map. And you don't have to feed the meters on Saturday, Sundays and Holidays.

For a cup of coffee, a smoothie,or some yummy gourmet baked goods and delicious wraps and soups, Patisserie Bleu is the place to be. The decor is reminiscent of a French cafe. Go ahead and treat yourself. The owner Deb and her staff are friendly and there is free WiFi there. I often wish there was a candle to capture the wonderful aroma of that place.

Tucked away on a side street is Bonhoeffer's. Choose from a variety of coffees, teas, and smoothies and take advantage of the free WiFi in a relaxing setting.

Need some hardware? How about trying Aubuchon Hardware. Ed, who I call MacGyver, has helped me solve some fix-it dilemmas. You can rent a rug shampoo machine, get copies of keys made, and recycle your cfl bulbs. And these are just some of the services they provide. All of the staff are very helpful and courteous. Aubuchon also stocks some pet supplies and Christmas items.

Downtown Nashua also has events to enjoy. The next event is Ladies Night on Thursday, November 20, 2008 from 5pm to close. You can get some good discounts from many participating merchants. One of the biggest events is the Holiday Stroll taking place on Saturday, November 29, 2008 from 5pm to 10pm. It is FREE. Click on for other events.

There are many more stores and lots of restaurants not mentioned here only because I haven't tried them out yet. But I look forward to exploring those places and I strongly encourage you to do your own exploring.

UPDATE: I removed Absolutely New Hampshire from the article, because it is gone. Thanks to Newts for informing me (see comments).